


pulse to pulse

by dizzyondreams



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 13:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2429918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzyondreams/pseuds/dizzyondreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The smell of cigarette smoke made Jean stop short, and he peered down the stairwell to see what seemed like a lump of blankets sitting on the bottom step, his usual smoking place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pulse to pulse

Jean awoke slowly, blinking at the blurred red numbers of his clock as he groped around on the table for his glasses. The numbers came into focus as he slid them on, a painful 3:30am, and he groaned quietly to himself before rolling onto his back to blink at the ceiling.

He knew he’d been lucky to get even four hours of sleep, but exhaustion tugged at his mind as he tried to will himself asleep again. His mind was whirring too fast, far ahead of his tired body, leaving him wide awake despite having just woken up.

He lay there for half an hour or so, glasses digging a groove into his temple as he tried to calm his mind enough to snatch a few more hours of sleep. The sounds from outside washed over him, the rustling of trees and the occasional car going by, leaving him drowsier but still stubbornly _awake_.

He gave up after an hour, grabbed his pack of cigarettes which rattled alarmingly (he’d have to get some in the morning, he noted mentally) and a jumper, and let himself quietly out. Marco was sleeping in the room across from him, so he crept along the hall and out the door, before descending the steps that led down from his flat. 

It was freezing outside, the sort of early autumnal chill that took his summer-accustomed body a long time to acclimatise to. He regretted not pulling on a pair of shoes as the cold crept up through his socks and left his feet icy. 

The smell of cigarette smoke made him stop short, and he peered down the stairwell to see what seemed like a lump of blankets sitting on the bottom step, his usual smoking place. A strong gust of wind blew, and Jean shivered in his thin jumper. A thin trail of smoke rose from the blankets, scattered by the wind, and Jean assumed that was the source of the familiar smell. 

The lump of blankets turned around as he descended the last set of stairs, and Jean raised a curious hand in greeting to the whispered, “Hello.”

“Hi.” He said quietly, lingering awkwardly a step above the blankets, adjusting his glasses on his face as he tried to make out the person through the low light of early morning. 

“Take a seat.” The person said cheerfully, way too cheerful for past four in the morning, and patted the place next to them. Jean considered it doubtfully, then supposed he probably wouldn’t get murdered not ten feet from his door, and sat. “Name’s Eren.” The lump said, and Jean could make out a pretty, round face in the darkness. Upturned nose, a pair of full lips, the greenest eyes Jean had ever seen. 

“Jean.” He said eventually, tearing his eyes away from those eyes and fumbling with his smokes. He hunched his shoulders against the cold, eyeing Eren’s blanket jealously. 

“I’ve never seen you around here.” Eren said, a rough catch to his voice that spoke of too many late nights and too many cigarettes. Jean lit up, let the wind carry away his first lungful of smoke, and shrugged.

“Normally smoke at weird times of the morning, I guess.” He cast a sidelong glance Eren’s way, and was embarrassed to find him already staring. He didn’t seem self-concious at being caught out, just grinned and glanced away.

“I’m a recent convert to it.” He muttered lowly, and laughed. Jean snorted and stared off across the courtyard, at the dark empty windows of the other flats. A laugh rang out across the buildings, and Jean made a sound of amusement. 

“Sounds like somebody’s having a better night than us.” He muttered, taking a drag off his cigarette and grimacing as it burnt his throat. 

“Speak for yourself.” Eren said, sending a disarming grin Jean’s way and hunching into his blanket. Jean, unable to reply, just grunted and glanced away, balancing his elbow on his knee as he took another drag. He had the strange impression that Eren was still looking at him, but couldn’t muster the courage to meet that intense green gaze again. “So what d’you do?” Eren asked, voice carrying through the darkness before the wind whipped it away.

“Film.” Jean exhaled a lungful of smoke. “You?” Standard first year talk, what course do you do, where are you staying, how much do you hate the assigned reading. Simple, safe stuff between people who’d just met.

“History.” Eren said, took a drag off his cigarette and ashed on the floor by their feet. He was wearing boots, Jean noted, and was again jealous of his forward thinking. Jean was already at the teeth chattering stage of a winter smoke. “Hey, you cold?”

Jean bit back the urge to snap at him like, _'yes of course, guy I just met. It’s only minus like, two hundred degrees outside and I’m wearing pyjama bottoms and a threadbare jumper.’_ He just shrugged and flicked his ash, staring at his feet. “I’m alright.” He muttered. 

They lapsed into silence, the easy sort of silence where Jean could tell Eren was used to it. Jean shivered again, hunching in on himself in an effort to conserve heat, and stared at his cigarette with distaste. He didn’t want to be out much longer, didn’t really want another smoke, but hated the idea of lying sleeplessly in his bed until the sun came up. He took another drag and glared straight ahead, wishing he didn’t have company so he could brood in silence. 

“Okay, man, you’re freezing.” Eren said after a particularly violent shiver from Jean, then laughed in a way which Jean was furious at himself for finding endearing, and pulled his blanket away from himself. “Huddle in.” He said seriously, a little crease appearing between thick brows. The corner of his mouth quirked up when Jean gave him a blank look, and he shook the corner he was holding. “C’mon, you’re letting the heat out.”

Maybe because it was almost five am, maybe because Jean liked the way Eren’s hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in days, maybe because Jean hadn’t slept properly in a week…he relented. Rolled his eyes and shuffled a little closer, taking the proffered edge of the blanket and pulling it around himself. 

“You can come a little closer.” Eren said, laughter in his voice. “I don’t bite.”

“This is the weirdest fucking encounter I’ve had here so far.” Jean muttered, hunching closer to Eren and tucking the blanket tighter around himself. 

Eren laughed at that but didn’t say anything, just knocked his knee against Jean’s and took a drag off his cigarette. 

Jean had to admit; it was a lot warmer pressed shoulder to hip with Eren inside his thick blanket than it had been sitting alone. The air was fresh, cold and autumnal, but all Jean could smell was the clean scent of shampoo and something underlying, fabric softer or deodorant or just plain Eren. He snorted and stuck his hand further out to ash on the floor. Yeah, definitely the weirdest encounter of university so far. 

“Something funny?” Eren asked lightly, turning away to stub his cigarette out against the railings before letting it drop to the floor. That funny half-smile was on his face again, and Jean let himself hold Eren’s gaze this time as he shrugged one shoulder and shook his head. Eren shrugged too and looked away, a faint smile playing across his lips as he ducked his chin into the folds of the blanket. Jean stared at his profile, the slope of his nose and his long eyelashes, the little ring in his ear mostly hidden by his mass of thick brown hair. A tiny voice in the back of his sleep deprived mind reminded him that Eren was pretty cute, and he shoved it aside with a sharp inhale on his cigarette as he looked away.

Jean finished his cigarette, flicking it away with an arch of embers and lighting another one not a minute later. Eren watched him, corner of lips tugging up.

“You wanna twos?” Jean offered, since he was sharing the guy’s body heat and all. Besides, the way Eren was eyeing up his cigarette told him he was craving but all out. Jean knew the feeling.

“You sure?” 

Jean just shrugged and took a drag before passing it over. Their fingers touched as Jean fumbled clumsily with passing it off, and Eren let his hand linger a second too long before bringing the cigarette to his lips and inhaling happily.

“So you been out much?” Eren asked, smoke spilling from his lips as he spoke, white in the faint light of the lamppost a few metres away. He offered the cigarette to Jean, who took it with less fumbling this time, and held it close to his lips before speaking.

“Not much. It’s not really my scene.” He only realised how pathetic that sounded after the words left his mouth, and covered it up with a cough as he glanced away. “I mean, just the whole partying thing.” He added lamely. Eren hummed thoughtfully.

“I see what you mean.” He muttered, then turned to Jean with a grin. “Next time I go out, you should come too.” His eyes dropped to Jean’s lips (just the cigarette, he wants a smoke, Jean told himself sternly) then flicked over his throat before dragging up to his eyes. “I’ll show you a good time.” He said seriously.

Jean laughed awkwardly and looked away before glancing back, catching Eren’s eyes on him again. “Maybe.” He said, not wanting to dismiss him in case Eren kicked him out of his tiny cave of warmth.

“You should come.” Eren muttered again, eyes straying off across the courtyard to watch someone walk past. Jean couldn’t even imagine what they looked like, sitting on the steps at ass o’clock in the morning, two grown ass men huddled together under a fluffy blanket. God, Jean’s life was taking a turn for the surreal.

They finished Jean’s cigarette between them, talking a little about classes, lecturers, complaining about the cold. Nothing of any substance. Jean found Eren looking at him a few more times, but held his gaze every time, eyes skipping over his face once Eren had looked away. He was cute, and warm, and had funny little mannerisms that Jean couldn’t help but find endearing. The way he ducked his head as he laughed, nose wrinkling, or how he spoke with his hands and bounced his leg in time to some unheard beat. 

“I think I’m gonna head in.” Jean said in a lull in the conversation, thinking fondly of his warm bed despite the fact that he knew he wasn’t going to get any more sleep. Eren nodded and cracked his knuckles, yawning as he did so. 

“Good plan.” He muttered. “I’ve got a early start tomorrow, probably gonna be kicking myself for this in the morning.”

“You didn’t have to sit here.” Jean said as he stood, letting the blanket fall away from him. The cold air hit him immediately, making him curse and cross his arms across his chest in a vain attempt to keep the heat in. He looked down at Eren, who had stood as well, blanket around his shoulders. He was shorter than Jean, came up to just about chin-level, which Jean found inexplicably attractive.

“I wanted to.” Eren shot back, a stubborn little crease between his eyebrows.

“Where’re you headed?” Jean asked instead of arguing, decided he was too tired to go up against what he expected was just a wall of stubbornness. Eren jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the ground floor flat, and Jean raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I’m top floor.” He said, and Eren gave him one of his lopsided grins.

“Small world.” He said, before brushing past Jean towards his flat. “I’ll see you around.” He whisper-called over his shoulder, giving Jean a sarcastic little salute before pushing the door open and disappearing inside. Jean stood there for a minute, letting the cold wash over him as he stared after Eren, before gathering his senses and ascending the two flights of stairs until he was back in the warmth of his own flat.

He lay in his bed until his morning alarm rang, the sounds of birds outside and mind brimming with images of warm brown hair and an off-kilter smile.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i haven't written for ages bc i've been so busy with uni but have this hope u enjoy
> 
> title from dissolve me by alt-j


End file.
